I do not have trouble sleeping. Bedtime is my favorite time. Even in periods of high stress or tension, sleep comes easily - often even more so, since my body seems to treat sleep as a sort of opportunity to escape from the day's difficulties. On almost any given night, seven minutes is about all Mr. Sandman needs to put me under.

Then there was last night. Granted, I had unintentionally napped earlier the evening (see?). But even so, I was surprised to find myself completely restless. At midnight, I finally got up and pulled out the computer to compose the previous blog entry. But that was only the starting point.

Next up, nearly two hours of singing along with my guitar. Mostly old songs I hadn't played in years. By about 3 am, I figured sleep would come any minute.

But it didn't. My mind was simply working overtime last night. Thinking about re-centering a lot of my activity around my life mission - "acts of hope & reconciliation" - had stirred up some exciting new possibilities. I was plotting and planning, conceiving ideas and charting various courses to live into this purpose. It was kind of exciting - I hadn't had a good waking dream session like this in awhile. At least not about how I want to make a positive contribution to the world.

There are stories I want to write - maybe even a few songs, too. There are people I want to pursue, to invite into conversation, to better understand. There are languages I want to master - ASL has been a back burner priority for too long, and I very much want to reclaim my proficiency in French.

A few months ago, Donald Miller brought to his readers' attention a really fantastic resource by Michael Hyatt about creating your personal life plan. I'm going to be going through this book & process for the next few weeks. I think it will be a great way to really focus my energies and resources on the things that matter to me. Maybe one or two folks will join me in the process...

At any rate, my excitement about the next season is still building. I'm eager to put the action in my mission of "acts of hope & reconciliation." After a good night's rest, of course.

my Scrabble cake from one year ago

I did it. I went a whole year without posting an update.

No fresh thoughts. No inspiring words. (Some might argue it's been longer than a year since that happened, anyway.) No lists of three things. Just a year of silence.

Of course, I didn't actually set a goal of not writing so much as a "Hello, world" for a full year. These sorts of things just seem to happen, and you realize at month 3, month 7, month 10, that you are neglecting something important. Not so much a blog, but certainly the passion that once fueled your writing it.

On my end, the year has been anything but quiet. In fact, the past 12 months have probably contained more dramatic, significant change than any other period in my life, which is kind of a dramatic thing to say in and of itself, but it's true. I don't intend to "recap" my year; the changes are evident to folks who know me well, and for the meager audience this blog may still have, well, I expect the changes will surface soon enough as I continue writing.

And that's really the one and only point of posting this update: to write. It's time for me to get back in the game. Back to where my heart lies, what I'm passionate about. A year later, it's comforting to me to recognize that the life purpose I scripted for myself during 2009 & 2010 remains the same: to live out acts of hope and reconciliation. Above all else, I am drawn this this calling.

Writing a blog is just one way I can activate that purpose. But when I write, I'm motivated to live as well. To act. To be the person I write about.

I have a good story to tell - a really good story, with a character you will understand and recognize. He's both confident and conflicted, compelled and cautious, provoked and paralyzed. He wants to make things better, and even though he struggles with an overwhelming devotion to self-first, he is a person of principle. He is simply on his way, in process. Celebrating small gains while undergoing the hard work of not only learning from, but living differently in the aftermath of his mistakes. He strives to connect. He hopes to be a source of hope to others. He fights to be meek.

That character I'm writing about is also the man I want to be. Let's see where the next year takes us.