This blog's 2 year anniversary is fast-approaching. It began in November of 2005 as my "second guess at what life is all about." A place to reconsider inherited suppositions was it's sub-moniker. Suppositions: things assumed to be true. Inherited, from where? My family, my church, my entire Bible-belt upbringing. I was simply second-guessing what it was really all about.

Two years later things are different. And they are the same. I'm still second-guessing those suppositions. But in the journey I'm uncovering something deep and dense, subtle and silent, something that is good but hard and unsettling and reassuring all at the same time. Faith is requisite in a god-ly pursuit, but problematic, to say the least, for the mind of man and woman. To walk by faith, to believe in the unseen, to trust in ultimate good, to surrender - these intangible, mysterious acts of the will and the heart and, yes, the mind are so incongruous with the perceived experience of life.

Do I believe there is a God? Yes. I do. It's foolish not to believe in a concept as abstract as "God." God is whatever helps make sense of life. Goodwill, compassion, love between enemies, love between friends, charity, selflessness, good decisions, luck, fate, harmony, peace - these things are God, or influence of God, or evidence of God. You don't have to attribute personhood to God, or a name, or anything at all. But if you know that there is a wrong or bad way to live life, and you also know there is a good and helpful way to live life, then whatever influences you to choose the good way is God, whether she be a force, a spirit, something within, sheer will, conscience, a deity, a supreme being, the metaphysical, that is the thing that is God to you.

There are other questions.
Do I believe in Jesus?
In heaven? Hell?
The Bible? Other holy books?
A personal relationship with a savior?
That prayer is effective?

Lots of other questions. Some with answers, but none with resolution. Everything's unresolved, always unresolved, even if there is an answer. It's late tonight. But over the next couple of weeks as the 2 year anniversary of The Second Guess approaches, I'll talk more about these questions and their (unresolved) answers, in my experience.