Since recognizing that I was gay in Christian middle & high school I grew up in, I always suspected - deep down - that one day I would be using my experiences to help others in a similar situation. There were a lot of emotional, spiritual, and even physical hurdles to navigate before arriving at this first blog post on "The Second Guess," but I do believe that this is the culmination of those suspicions from over a decade ago.

If you've had the chance to poke around the website, you should have some sense of what I'm setting out to do with "The Second Guess." And, naturally, you may have some suspicions of your own. I've found that people are often skeptical about who I am and why I want to work toward reconciliation between the church & gay people. Christians wonder whether I intend to push an "affirming" perspective on them or ask that they perform same-sex weddings. LGBT people ask whether I expect them to change their orientation or give up their fight for marriage equality. It seems everyone has a list of standards that one must meet before any real relationship might begin to take root, or even a real conversation can happen.

The truth is, if I were to lay out my personal convictions in black & white without any context, people from all across the spectrum would find something to disagree with. The problem is that we too often assume that if we don't agree, then we simply can't communicate, relate, do life together, or benefit from one another's perspectives. Not a lot of people would come out and say that - but it's pretty evident in how we pick sides, draw lines, and avoid folks with whom we disagree.

Well, I think we can - and should - communicate with, relate to, do life with, and benefit from the perspective of people who are very different from us. I believe the culture war between the church and gay people is very damaging to our hearts, minds, and souls. And I've started "The Second Guess" because I want to make a difference in the way we relate to one another.

There will be many people who just won't get it, or care about it, or will think it's a waste of time. For instance, if you don't personally care about...

• matters of faith & living out the way of Jesus,
• LGBT issues,
• culture clashes in society,
• and seeking unity & reconciliation between estranged parties,

then you probably won't find much of value in this blog, on the website, or at Second Guess events. But I've come across people along the way who do care about those things, as do I, and so those are the people I want to connect with. And at this point, especially those who live in San Diego, since that's where my life is.

You can have your suspicions about me; that's OK. I get it. I tend to not trust where people are coming from either, until I get to know them. But that's what I will be doing as "The Second Guess" unfolds - letting myself be known. I believe with all my heart that what I'm doing is right & good & true, but I want to let you learn that for yourself. So I plan to open up my life here and in person as much as I can. I want to build relationships with other gay people, and with other Christians. I hope to tell, show, live my story in such a way as to help you see that we don't have to fight each other. We don't have to avoid each other. We don't have to hate or even dislike each other.

Reconciliation is hard, slow, and painful. But it creates something beautiful in the end. I'm after that. I think God is after that. And I hope you'll consider being after that, too.