Tuesday, April 13, 2010
If someone I didn't know were to write a blog post entitled, "Thoughts on Matthew Williams," I might be inclined to think rude thoughts about the stranger whose pontificating at my expense could be completely misinformed. But, alas, when you were a Christian music superstar in the late 90s who announces she is gay to the Christian media, well... I imagine there will be many folks posting their thoughts to blogs. I just hope to bring an infusion of grace to this particular conversation.
Jennifer is confirming rumors that started when she abruptly left the CCM (contemporary Christian music) scene in 2003. Sometime last year, my roommate was playing Jennifer's first album, "Kansas," from his room, which prompted one of those "Whatever happened to her?" kind of conversations. As we listened to some more of her music, I began to feel that my connection to her songs was deeper. Soon, I told my roommate that I believed Jennifer was gay. For whatever reason, I was just convinced that was the case. I even wrote her a letter at the time:
I'm a gay guy who grew up in the conservative Christian world. As a young teenager, your music was life-giving. It is perhaps even more so now as I listen to it with (only slightly) aged ears. I don't know what your journey has been over the last several years, but I do know that it's always the journey that makes living so beautiful. Your letter is refreshing and sounds sincere. I am glad for the beauty you've found and so thankful you are finding the voice to share it with us once again.
I've loved Jennifer Knapp since I heard the first bars of "Undo Me" in high school. She's an incredible songwriter who has always had an unabashed honesty to her lyrics. To hear her speak about her own journey of reconciling faith & sexuality - or more accurately, in her case, reconciling people of faith & sexuality - certainly adds a new dimension to the songs she's written over the years. Check out this quote from her interview in Christianity Today:
The heartbreaking thing to me is that we're all hopelessly deceived if we don't think that there are people within our churches, within our communities, who want to hold on to the person they love, whatever sex that may be, and hold on to their faith. It's a hard notion. It will be a struggle for those who are in a spot that they have to choose between one or the other. The struggle I've been through—and I don't know if I will ever be fully out of it—is feeling like I have to justify my faith or the decisions that I've made to choose to love who I choose to love.
Jennifer so perfectly conveys my own reasons for wanting to help bring reconciliation to the culture war in San Diego. She understands the incompatible nature of a church that outlines specific standards for what type of person is welcome to worship & participate fully in its midst while preaching a message of "come as you are" and "free grace to all." It's mixed messaging at best.
Brave soul that she is, Jennifer will likely face some intense and critical responses. Ray Boltz, another icon of early CCM, came out awhile back. I found this comment from a reader of "Christianity Today" in response to news about Ray's sexuality:
"What can be said? We are known by the fruit we bear. So, being a great musician and exalting the Lord is not enough. Repentance is necessary. Ray should be ignored but welcomed back whenever he truly repents."
This is certainly disheartening - that a man's entire body of work would be written off as valueless, contingent on the state of his own repentance (as defined, of course, by the reader). Jennifer will likely face similar responses.
But the good news is that, despite the fact that she seems intent on avoiding becoming a leader of any sort of gay Christian revolution, this news will continue to crack open the door of conversation for believers everywhere. In this instance, so many folks - like my roommate & myself - experienced defining moments around Jennifer's music growing up. There is a serious emotional connection there, and while many will be able to quickly overlook the impact her songs had on them, others will wrestle internally with the way they were led into the presence of God through the songs of a lesbian. At the very least, my hope is these questions surface in pursuit of understanding - and, hopefully, reconciliation.
A final quote from Jennifer, regarding her new song "Inside:"
It's a challenge to break free of that and to own who you really are. That's my heart's cry for anyone I've ever met. It's not on my agenda to convert the world to a religion, but to convert the world to compassion and grace. I've experienced that in my life through Christianity.
1 Comment:
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10:27 AM
In John 8:11 Jesus told the women caught in the act of adultery to " go and sin no more". Of course we know the lady never sinned again but she was to step a way from the sinful life style she was living.ie " repentance".homosexuality is a sexual sin just like adultery, sin is sin and we are all guilty.The problem is if you are a child og God( born again) sin should bother you, not that you will not but you should be convicted when you do and try to stop and not do "it" again.The Bible has many referances to homosexuality,example Gen.14, and it is a sin. God is graceous and forgiving of our sin but we must "go and sin no more" walk away from that sin.Whether you mean Homosexuality,adultry or child molester. They are all sexual sins that we chose to take part in or turn away from.To say you have fellowship with God and maintain the sinful lifestyle is to mock God and Galatians 6:7 say "he will not be mocked".I am not trying be mean or hurful to anyone, what I say I say out of love and desire for the child of God dealing with this to be brought to reconsilation with him.My prayer is that we all get past the sins that rob us of fellowship with our father.
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